Are you sitting down?

March 24, 1940 - August 1, 2009

This is what Danna had always told me she'd start our phone conversation with when my mom passed away. And the morning of Sunday, August 2, 2009 I heard those words. Danna called to let me know that on Saturday, August 1, 2009 my mom passed away in hospital. We immediately flew to Toronto to be with my family. My family had prepared ourselves as best we could because she was very sick for quite some time. However, when faced with the reality of it it was quite difficult. My mother didn't want a funeral nor memorial service and so we honoured that, but it made saying goodbye and having some closure very difficult. So the funeral home that was taking care of the arrangements she herself had made allowed us some time to see her body before she was cremated. It was an emotional and difficult thing to do, but I'm glad I did. It allowed me to say some things that were on my mind that I hadn't been able to tell her while alive, and gave me the chance to see she was gone and say goodbye. As much as my mom and I didn't see eye-to-eye (and it was often) I miss her alot. As hard as it was to get along with her, I loved my mother and always will. Death is so final and yet so abstract. Coming to terms with the fact that I will never talk to her again, that I will never see her again, and that she will miss many events in not only my life but in my siblings' lives, is extremely hard. However, I do have some peace in knowing she is no longer suffering or in pain. R.I.P mom, I love you.

2003